He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. Mark 5, verse 37.
I need healing. Badly. Physically, I would love to drop a few pounds, thin up, get my running endurance back, not be plagued by problems I can see ahead if I don’t do something about it now. Emotionally I have worked hard to put a past of bad choices behind me; though they no longer haunt me as they used to, I’ll admit that, from time to time, guilt over them bubbles up and sticks me. Spiritually, on my own, I’m dead. I’ve thought about hell lately, not about my going there (which, thanks to Christ, I don’t see happening) but about what it is. Though my thought is based only on my sophomoric wonderings, I wonder if hell isn’t the absence of Christ. Think about it: as long as we live, there is hope for us. If we turn our backs on that hope – Christ – all our lives, would it be so surprising if Jesus simply removed all vestiges of His hope from our lives eternally? An eternity without love would be a burning fire of punishment.
So would a life without healing. Without the love of Jesus, all my best feelings and emotions are not love. Without the love of Jesus they are nothing if not hell, merely tortured aspirations to love but never the real thing; close but no cigar. Without the love of Jesus, I am sick and need healing. I need it a lot. How about you?
Yet I’m a private vocal man. In public, “the show must go on.” I’m a lot of talk, sometimes; it’s a character flaw I’m working to correct. I like a joke, to laugh, and to enjoy, but sometimes it’s pretty cheesy. In truth, I’m still something of an introvert who tries too hard some times to present himself as an extrovert. I need to be healed quite desperately, and I prefer it be done in private. Here I am, confessing these things in a forum that is anything but private (and I’m doing it willingly, without duress) yet, when I need healing I don’t want it plastered all over the billboards (or message boards).
How satisfying it is, then, that Jesus does heal us in private. Deep inside, where our deepest emotions still boil, He reaches through all the noise of the world and heals what needs to be healed from the inside-out. He did it for Jairus’ daughter. He has done it for countless believers throughout history. He wants to do it for me and for you. Jesus knows, too, that we are personal people, that we have inner-most beings who are private. He comes to us to heal that part of us first, knowing that the rest can follow when this happens.
Though He was very much in public when Jairus came up to Him, Jesus quickly shied the crowds away and went in to see the sick girl. Why did He bring Peter, James and John? We can only speculate, but this wasn’t the only time Jesus worked with just His closest friends around. Are we any different? Most of us have friends and acquaintances, but only a select few to whom we are completely candid and intimate. We should expect Jesus to be the same.
Lord, heal my sickness. Take away my sins and heal me from the inside. I believe in You.
Read Mark 5, verses 21-43.